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10 Essential Tips for Learning to Get Along With In-Laws

Jese Leos
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Published in What Do You Want From Me?: Learning To Get Along With In Laws
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Having strong and harmonious relationships with your in-laws is vital for a happy married life. However, in many cases, getting along with your spouse's family can be challenging and stressful. Differences in personalities, backgrounds, and values can often lead to conflict. But fear not! With the right approach and some effective strategies, you can foster a healthy and peaceful relationship with your in-laws. In this article, we will explore ten essential tips to help you overcome conflict and strengthen your bond with your partner's family.

1. Develop Empathy

Try to understand your in-laws' perspectives and the reasons behind their actions. Empathy allows you to see things from their point of view and helps build compassion and understanding between both parties. Put yourself in their shoes and sincerely try to comprehend their intentions.

2. Communicate Openly

Transparent and honest communication is key to resolving conflicts. When issues arise, talk openly about them, expressing your feelings and concerns politely. Effective communication helps address misunderstandings, prevent resentment, and promote healthy relationships.

What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In Laws
What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws
by Terri Apter(Kindle Edition)

4.1 out of 5

Language : English
File size : 383 KB
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 247 pages

3. Show Respect

Respect is crucial in any relationship. Be mindful of your words and actions, treating your in-laws with the same respect you would expect from them. Show appreciation for their opinions, traditions, and customs, even if they differ from your own.

4. Be Flexible and Compromise

Flexibility is vital for maintaining harmony with your in-laws. Understand that compromise is necessary in any relationship. Be open to finding common ground and be willing to adapt to different situations and circumstances.

5. Avoid Taking Things Personally

It's important not to take everything personally. Remember that everyone has flaws and their own ways of expressing themselves. Avoid reacting impulsively and instead, try to discuss any concerns rationally and calmly with your spouse.

6. Find Common Interests

Discover shared hobbies or interests with your in-laws. Engaging in activities together can contribute to developing a deeper connection and enable you to bond on a personal level. It's a great opportunity to learn about their likes and dislikes and find common ground.

7. Set Boundaries

Creating clear boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship with your in-laws. Understand your limits and communicate them kindly. Establishing boundaries will help prevent conflicts and ensure mutual understanding.

8. Seek Professional Help

If conflicts persist and communication becomes difficult, seeking professional help can be beneficial. Couples therapy or family counseling can provide the necessary tools to navigate challenging relationships and improve your connection with your in-laws.

9. Patience is Key

Building a strong bond with your in-laws takes time, so be patient. Remember that relationships evolve gradually, and it may take a while to develop a close and harmonious connection. Trust the process, and don't rush the expectations.

10. Focus on the Positive

Instead of dwelling on negative aspects or conflicts, focus on the positive aspects of the relationship. Celebrate your shared achievements, highlights, and family gatherings. By highlighting the positive moments, you can reinforce the bond and create a loving and supportive atmosphere.

Remember, getting along with your in-laws is a journey that requires effort from both sides. By implementing these ten essential tips, you can pave the way for a peaceful and loving relationship, creating a strong foundation for your married life.

What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In Laws
What Do You Want from Me?: Learning to Get Along with In-Laws
by Terri Apter(Kindle Edition)

4.1 out of 5

Language : English
File size : 383 KB
Text-to-Speech : Enabled
Screen Reader : Supported
Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
Word Wise : Enabled
Print length : 247 pages

Breaking new ground in family psychology, an exploration of the intricacy, friction, and love in the bonds between in-laws.


When we marry, we believe the bond is between only two individuals. Few of us realize the power that inlaws will exert over our lives. But the in-laws we acquire when we marry affect our quality of life—our marriage, family, personal comfort, and long-term well-being—for better or worse.
What Do You Want From Me? takes a fresh look at the age-old problem of managing conflict with in-laws, offering practical help for dealing with problems that are both immediate (“How do I deal with my in-laws now?”) and strategic (“How can I change the nature of my in-laws’ demands?”). Terri Apter, a psychologist whose books on family dynamics have received international acclaim, draws on nearly two decades of psychological research to pinpoint the sources of tension between in-laws and explore the ways in which we can build healthy relationships with the in-laws in our lives.

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